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JACKALOPE LEGENDS

Orgin of the Jackalope
Researched by "Doc" Si Rogers
Written by "Caddylak Maxy" Gathings
Edited by "Ducky Logjam" DeVore
The Jackalope is one of America’s most famous cryptic critters and hunter’s wanna-hav-one wall mounts. If you precisely follow a long established, not so common, culinary procedure, the Jackalope is a deee-lishus eatin’ little varmint. Sightings are few, but the Jackalope, Texas’ little Loch Ness Monster, has been caught in a few rare photographs over the years depicting these rabbit-like creatures in all their antlered glory.

The origin of the Jackalope has always been clouded by public dispute and intellectual opinions, arguments and strife but, if the truth be known, it was a Texas Aggie Scientific Experiment Gone Amuck.

Sometime during the early 1960s, a battery of Aggie scientists attempted to cross a Jackrabbit with a deer, antelope and elk to provide an animal that would reproduce quickly and be equally suited for purposes of hunting, eating and exporting as a profitable commodity.

The first attempt, between an American Elk and a Jackrabbit and the second attempt, between a Pronghorn Antelope and a Jackrabbit failed (producing stillborn non-hoppity wabatti); but the third attempt between an Whitetail Deer and Jackrabbit succeeded to the delight of the Aggie scholarly team. Alas, their joy was short-lived. Within months the first and only successful crossbred Jackalope (Aggies name for the little hoppity wabatti creature) escaped from its Aggie creators and vanished into the wilds of the central Texas Plains and Hill Country.

To begin with, crazy things always happen because of the phenomena of the University of Texas and Texas Aggies’ old college rivalry. This particular weekend was no different, spontaneously creating a non-sanctioned University of Texas libation driven Frat Rat “Round Up” Rush and G.D.I. party-hardy weekend panty-raid. This impetuous retaliatory emotional prank was a response to the Aggies kidnapping and branding U.T.’s Mascot (Bevo the Longhorn Steer) with a 13-0 (An earlier football score with the Aggies being the winners) upon his old bovine rump. This patriotic crusade for the Maggie (a nickname for Aggies of the female gender) panties was lead by “Doctor Christmas” Si Rogers and consisted of Stewart “Ducky Log Jam” DeVore, “Caddylak Maxy” Max Gathings, “Dizzy” Bob McCarroll, T.U. “Cowtown” Taylor, David “Beaver” Crowley, Johnny “Tab Brave Boy” Clarke, Leslie “Trigger” Mendenhall and other young academics that were the sons and followers of the Austin City’s 4o Acres (Nickname for U.T.’s Large Campus).

These soon to be demoralized and embarrassed Texas Fans in their pursuit of over-indulgence jollities initiated a serious targeted trek to College Station on behalf of old Bevo’s honor. These motivated students and friends of U.T., with little knowledge of the Aggieland campus, found themselves staging their little firewater charged panty-raid enthusiastically on the Aggie Animal Research Building instead of the desired ladies dormitory. In the throws of exhilarated passion, revelry and merrymaking and in the confusion of the moment, the little mutant Aggie-experiment made a freedom break from its imprisoned days of Aggie scientific probing, testing and examinations. As an escapee, our little furry horned Jackalope exiled itself to the forest, prairies and mountains to become a part of the legends and folklore of Texas and the American West.

Though the Aggie scientists sent out scores of searchers from its renowned corps, they were unable to recover this little cow pasture running critter. Only later did the scientists discover that they had mistakenly transplanted into the bunny-cum-deer both sex organs, rendering it hermaphroditic. Thus the Jackalope was able to reproduce in the wild, accounting for occasional sightings long after the estimated life span of the grandparent of them all.

Of course, being Aggies they misnamed the creature, which is indisputably a cross between a Jackrabbit and a Whitetail Deer. Strictly speaking, the varmint should have been labeled a Jackahorn, Jackadeer, or perhaps even a Bunnybuck, but not a Jackalope. Its antlers are the slender, many-branched horns of the deer, not the thicker, stubbier variety of the Pronghorn Antelope, which, unlike the deer, does not occur countywide.

An Almost True Story (Well, maybe not!)

Source: "The Truth About Texas" by Anne Dingus

Stuffed Jackalope
"Fat Pig" Gibson Wildlife Recipe
Capture a live Jackalope. For six months feed it a strict diet of Jalapeno peppers and spices (It’s usually necessary to force feed the Jackalope until it gets used to its new diet.) Caution: A jalapeno fed Jackalope can be a testy critter.

Preparation for Cookin’
Carefully and firmly grasp the Jackalope immediately behind head. Tie one end of a four foot length of heavy twine securely around neck of Jackalope. Attach other end of twine to a sailboat anchor. Using another length of twine, tie the Jackalope’s legs to the strong palm tree branch ten feet above the beach. Throw anchor out of tree. Cut Jackalope’s body into medium size filets. Wrap Jackalope filets in bacon.

Cookin’ Instructions
Fill large tumbler with Jack Daniels and branch water. Baste cook internally. Dig pit in the ground four feet by four feet. Refill tumbler and baste cook. Fill pit with mesquite wood knots. Refill tumbler and baste cook (You’ve probably noticed this recipe requires a lot of basting.). Throw Jackalope bacon wrapped filets in a wet burlap bag. Throw bag in pit. Baste cook as needed. Cover bag with dirt. Cook in ground one week.

Quick Recipe
Order them from the grocery store because they have them ready to grill. By-the-way, folks when you can’t capture or purchase a Jackalope you can use a boneless-skinless chicken breast. Beat till flat, cut into 3 inch by 3 inch lengths, stuff with seasoning salt, pepper, diced jalapeno's and onions and roll and grill. It’s Deee-lishus! It’s a Caddylak Maxy guarantee and it should motivate you to want to buy his Jackalope Cards, Horned Frogs Cards and Roadrunner Cards!

"Jackalopes are as American as Apple Pie and make Great Graphics for Funny Greeting Cards." -Says, Caddylak Maxy.

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Last Update: Thursday May 29, 2008 05:50 A.M.

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